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[Black Pharaoh] JL Forsaken Souls (Ongoing)

Western
Posted:2020-05-24 04:52
Parent:1641024
Visible:No (Replaced)
Language:English  
File Size:126.8 MB
Length:240 pages
Favorited:3949 times
Rating:
1053
Average: 4.49

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[Black Pharaoh] JL Forsaken Souls (Ongoing), added 2020-05-28 04:17
[Black Pharaoh] JL Forsaken Souls (Ongoing), added 2020-06-04 07:38

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Posted on 24 May 2020, 04:52 UTC by:   BlackPharaoh   
Uploader Comment
This is part of the first chapter of this story, yo can follow me on:

/ />blackpharaohcomix.com

JL: Forsaken Souls is a parody comic based upon the “Fair use” Doctrine under The USA Copyright Act. All characters and related materials are trademarks, copyrights and/or registered trademarks of their respective license holders and/or owners. The parody comic is not sponsored, endorsed by, or affiliated with DC Comics or their partners, affiliates or any other company owning the trademarks of characters seen therein.

Important

This is a fictional story and is intended for the fantasy of adults only, we do not promote violence toward women under any circumstances, or any of the acts or scenes depicted in this webcomic. All characters involved in sexual intercourse are 18 years old or older.

You can now follow me on Twitter />
Posted on 01 April 2017, 12:33 UTC by:   Lolstudio   
Score +436
"The raw bliss.... of my cook"
That's some fine cooking.
Posted on 06 April 2017, 05:03 UTC by:   shittingass   
Score +82
I wish my dick was this powerful. :'(
Posted on 13 May 2017, 23:04 UTC by:   succubusl0v3r   
Score +67
Wait, *male corruption?!*

Is this actually happening?
Posted on 16 September 2017, 17:18 UTC by:   Solipsist   
Score +98

From the point of view of story-writing, you don't want the same structure repeating itself with the same punchline. We already saw 2 heroes being corrupted one after another in one scene. Doing the exact same thing on the following scene, would just seem like it's a trivial first-dish that should prepare for you something much greater -- because, surely -- there's no way the standards wouldn't be raised?
Going by what Pharaoh just wrote, there is something to wait for, and that's why Pharaoh skipped the process of the 3rd corruption. It will be mixed up with something that follows, or bring about something more absurd.

Remember, peeps. Too much repetition will result in a bad time, m'eh? A way to usually break the cycle, yet somewhat do the same thing, is to have a heroine actively corrupt a group of citizens, and create their own network of minions. Having the demon corrupt every single hero can get a bit stale if yer not careful with it.
Posted on 25 September 2017, 11:03 UTC by:   MitchellTF   
Score +168
*sighs* I confess, I have trouble getting into this comic. I mean, I'm fond of corruption/transformation, but this one tends to lack dramatic tension, since...well...the bad guy has no weaknesses whatsoever, and any woman he touches is essentially completely powerless. And then they become a dickslut.

I second liking the transformations, though. I also kinda feel like this is the work where it could use being 'not the heroes'...since, really? Their personalities don't matter. 'Cause they will just end up dicksluts.

Part of it, however, may be a weird thing I have. For some reasons, I find corruption by a male figure more...squicky, then corruption by a female/herm figure.
Posted on 05 October 2017, 17:42 UTC by:   Solipsist   
Score +126
I have to agree to that, seeing how the demon corrupt everyone has made the process become pretty dull. MitchellTF has put it pretty well, I just don't agree with the importance of having "tension" born from the antagonist having weaknesses, or the heroines being somewhat immune. At least, I think that's not the most important issue to focus on when it comes to this work....
As I said before -- The process cannot just repeat itself and expect equal results. We can't just see the same thing happening and be expected to feel equally about it as we did at the first time. The process needs to be expanded and somewhat altered, instead it's just being repeated. Instead, I feel like the same thing has happened for 30 pages.

I at least can say that it's unfair to expect an insane amount of variety within a mere 30 pages, that's usually the general amount of pages a single doujin has. But on the same note, it's kind of silly to have so much plot-movement within such a short period of time. For the very least, if the plot cannot be planned out effectively, I can at least hope the transformations will become more absurd as time passes. The focus does seem to be about instant-gratification.
Posted on 10 October 2017, 19:13 UTC by:   lordoftheuniverse   
Score +68
Having a character escape only partially transformed, and dealing with that, would be good, too.

The split mouth/cheek design feels so weird with it not being used or addressed in any way. Would love to see... something with it. No idea what, but it just feels like an odd design choice at the moment. Or maybe I'm missing a reference to something.
Last edited on 25 October 2017, 16:30 UTC.
Posted on 05 December 2017, 10:00 UTC by:   kain11   
Score +75
Garbage. Utter. Garbage. The same sort of transformation each and every time. Let's have some modicum of change with each dude and chick at least.
Posted on 25 February 2018, 12:39 UTC by:   theCircle57   
Score +53
If weird pupils can get a tag, weird mouths should too.
Posted on 26 February 2018, 01:28 UTC by:   hatepie   
Score +99
I like corruption as much as the next guy, but the complete physical transformation makes it difficult to tell who they even used to be. They all look kinda the same after.
Posted on 17 March 2018, 18:43 UTC by:   Da Bomb   
Score +133
This comic started with the first transformation being pretty good and then from there on out it dove off a cliff. It feels like they just instantly corrupt and into the same thing over and over, I honestly have no idea who is who anymore. The best thing I can hope for now is some mutual corruption between Diane and Bruce.
Posted on 05 April 2018, 08:06 UTC by:   hermit20   
Score +54
I think the most boring part about this, is just watching the "bad guy" have no problems what so ever... also betting he gets away with all of this scot-free with nothing stopping him or killing him. Of course if this was the current DC universe, Dr. Manhattan would have just instantly erased him.
Posted on 11 June 2018, 03:02 UTC by:   hatepie   
Score +50
Gotta love how every male superhero is suddenly a massive jobber, even superman.
Posted on 30 June 2018, 04:50 UTC by:   bearonfire   
Score +61
This is exactly why they should have never made Superman so powerful in the first place. Everyone always goes hard on kryptonite or supernatural power bullshit. Also, unless author pull something out his ass the ending is pretty much locked into place at this point. If the most powerful member of the JLa can't even take on one of this guy's minions, what chance does everyone else have?
Posted on 30 June 2018, 05:41 UTC by:   Jason_6787   
Score +50
Kind of sad to see superman die so easily, feels like there could have been an interesting story with redemption or something of the like. Now it feels like there isn't anywhere else to go from here but down.

Like there's no possible victory for the heroes, fucking SUPERMAN is dead, and was killed in like 2 pages. So why the fuck would we bother to read this anymore? I personally have no interest in reading as your "SuPER CoOl BlACk PhArAoH" OC just has everyone rollover and lose or die. Which is a fucking shame, because I wouldn't fucking be here if I didn't like corruption stories, and I'm sure most other people here share the same feeling. To be honest, I always expect the villain to win in corruption stories, but most of those stories don't involve this degree of weird snuff shit, and most of them take a little bit longer with the corruption to give the semblance of a feeling that the protagonist can still win/escape.

Pharaoh you need to get to the fucking point faster, or move on to something new. You've written yourself into a corner and continue to do so. The only twist you can make at this point is, "Oh look batman wins" which I don't know if that's better or worse than the current direction to be honest.

Also fuck this garbage harem bullshit, this dumbass OC Villain is trying to become like "all powerful" or some other contrived bullshit. Yet your trying to tell me he doesn't want ANY male superhero minions? Fucking doubt that shit my guy.
Last edited on 04 December 2019, 16:11 UTC.
Posted on 30 June 2018, 16:52 UTC by:   Jason_6787   
Score +118

I wouldn't be following this comic if I didn't like corruption fantasies. This comic was amazing and is still pretty good.

But when there is no opposing force (Superman for example, because even the Black Pharaoh said "The greatest of us, and we can't even give him a proper burial") it just becomes kind of boring.

It doesn't feel like there is anyone left to stop the villain so I guess he just wins and everything is now predetermined with no twists or turns left. That being said Black Pharaoh could still pull something out of nowhere but it will probably feel like a cop out.

All in all I wanted the villain to win, but with superman dead I guess he already has and he appears to have done it incredibly easily. Not really any stakes left.

Edit: WOW would you look at that, it's been about a year and half since I made this comment and Pharaoh is still writing himself into the exact same corner he was then, I really hope Pharaoh can make this story have a satisfying conclusion, but I doubt that will happen with the direction this comics been going for a while now. The worst part is we AS THE READERS don't even know IF the antagonist OC has some kind of weakness. Let alone the fucking heroes, where all they're doing at this point is waiting to die in a hole in the ground I guess.

Maybe it's not my place to say, as a reader. But Pharaoh with the quality of your art you should find someone to write the stories for you, if this is what one of your typical comics ends up looking like.
Because it feels like all the work you put into the visuals is wasted on a bad narrative. And the visuals are REALLY GOOD my man, they're done quite well!
Last edited on 04 December 2019, 16:18 UTC.
Posted on 06 July 2018, 05:09 UTC by:   bearonfire   
Score +81
Not that my opinion actually matters lol, but I would have liked to see more involved corruption process instead of the insta-loss, insta-corrupt stuff. That's pretty much it. I don't really care about Supes especially since he's just fodder in this comic.
Posted on 06 July 2018, 16:16 UTC by:   Neeckin   
Score +49
Well after superman now I guess Billy is gonna get insta killed. Unless Lex pulls out some kind of deus ex this is going to be a slow march to everyone dead or corrupted.
Posted on 18 July 2018, 08:14 UTC by:   TheKnightlyMinstrel   
Score +104
Fankly put? This entire fucking thing is stupid. It'd have been hot if it were like... dramatic. Instead it goes like this:

NArrative: OH TEH NOEZ DE POWAH IZ UNSTAHPABBALE
A hero: NEVAH FEAH I CAN DEFORT DA BADGUIZE
Narrative: NO U CANT LOL BECAUSE LOL UNSTAHPABBULL

Please, for the love of the Man Emperor of Mankind; and all stop signs in the galaxy- CEASE AND FUCKING DESIST.
Posted on 25 August 2018, 11:48 UTC by:   BrainPain   
Score +62
Well, I mean, all the elements are there, but it's just not fun. It feels... empty.
Posted on 25 August 2018, 14:56 UTC by:   Acefighter159   
Score +108
Oh, god, I just realized, the villain is technically a black pharaoh monster. We're reading Mary Sue fanfiction. That explains a lot.
Posted on 31 August 2018, 15:47 UTC by:   jimbo_extreme   
Score +55
I don't see why anyone would expect a good ending. Regardless of who's left alive in this universe and what they can do.

We're talking about an artist that loves corruption, making a character based on their pen name to corrupt the entire DC universe. Do you really think this will end well?
Posted on 09 September 2018, 19:13 UTC by:   Acefighter159   
Score +247
I'm gonna try to talk a bit about why this comic doesn't really work for so many people, because I have a spare half-hour and this comments section is maybe being read by its creator. And honestly, there's a fair bit of potential on display (the artwork is okay and the concept has some mileage); it's just the execution that's messy.

- Quantity over quality. Way too many corruption scenes, which are supposed to be the appeal point, just get skated over with no real resistance. Which I thought was the point, to show them trying and failing to fight it off. I see a lot of people being happy about the Wonder Woman scene because frankly, it's the only one in a good while that hasn't had the lady be converted into an identical cock-munching succubus the moment someone jams it in.
- The story is too fucking dark. Corruption's supposed to be dark, yeah, that's the point, but it's supposed to be dark and sexy. There's nothing sexy about the world's greatest hero being drained of life in an incestuous snuff rape scene. It's hard to masturbate to a story when multiple characters the audience no doubt actually likes are getting gratuitously and ignominiously murdered. Which brings me to the next point:
- Bad handling of the male cast. A lot of corruption stories seem to have trouble with male characters, since having them partake in the same antics as the female cast would be gay or something. Most just don't feature them at all. Ones dealing with established universes tend to either write them out or add a genderswap element (some of Lemonfont's work does this). This story shows a good example of what happens when you don't do that; the audience gets attached and then gets disappointed.
- Too much story focus when the story is not interesting. The intrigue here is a fucking flatline because every single battle with the Mary Sue antagonist has been a grievous rout. Look at Dinaranger; there are plenty of points in that story where you kinda believe the protagonists could make it out. If the story were just a pure fuckfest with no plot except an occasional bit of contextual narration, this wouldn't be a problem, but it's not.
- The villain fucking sucks. He's a slab of boring nothing who is uber-powerful because of reasons. All his dialogue is cliche posturing and could belong to literally any overlord-of-the-week. If he had some humor to him or some kind of clever plan, or if he was just a silent monster, that'd be one thing. As it stands, he's neither interesting enough to deserve the focus he gets nor minor enough to be merely the instrument of corruption.
Posted on 24 September 2018, 22:14 UTC by:   BlackPharaoh   
Score +154
Haven't written here in a long time, but that doesn't mean I haven't been seeing these comments. This has to be the most critic forum where my work is being published (at least by me) and that's great, believe it or not many things have been rewritten because of some well valid opinions I've read here (Even if many of you think the contrary) sadly I'm not that good of a writer, which is why I like to read what people is liking and what they aren't. But at the end It will be impossible to please everyone, because everybody has an idea of where they want this story to go or how it should have been written or drawn. So at the end I have remember why I did this and it was because it's something I wanted to see. Is it my power fantasy? Well that's a ludicrous accusation. Haven't you seen around? All the content of this site is someones power fantasy. (and believe me I don't see myself as the Black Pharaoh I'm writing, we only share the name).

Is the villain a Mary Sue, bland one dimensional asshole? So far he is, and believe me when I say I've been trying to correct this since the first time it was pointed out, but a compelling villain is perhaps one of the hardest thing to write if you don't believe me just take a look at almost all superhero movies villains. This of course doesn't mean he will stay on the path he is right now. I'll do my best to make him better. more compelling. My biggest mistake was making him so OP, that he became a walking Deus ExMachina.

Will the story remain this dark and gritty? No it wont be like this the whole time but there are still some ugly stuff coming up. This is just the opening salvo of the whole story I have planned, many people have asked me how long it is. I can only tell you it's several hundred pages long, so there's still a lot to things to come. Which means that even when many of the biggest male characters have been unrightfully discarded there are a lot of lesser well know characters that will step up to the challenge.

About Batman... Well, I wont lie to you, half of you want to see him chewed and spited up to finally put to rest the Uber OP Batman. And some others want him to Mary Sue his way out of this one, so as I said before, not everyone is gonna be happy with this one, hopefully my limited writing skills will allow me to give him a satisfactory participation.
Last edited on 10 October 2018, 03:02 UTC.
Posted on 06 October 2018, 23:38 UTC by:   Smed2012   
Score +56
Only way this will end satisfactory is if someone manages to get a signal out to The Spectre.
Posted on 01 December 2018, 06:32 UTC by:   Mekoruu   
Score +99
I originally had a lot of hope for this series, with its amazing artwork and seemingly strong start. However, at this point it just feels like the artist is going through a checklist of every available female character and corrupting them, whilst wiping out male characters through laughable and honestly pointless encounters.

Dragging out this one-sided conflict and ticking off every available character in the universe is just boring, and without any stakes or much of a struggle in the storyline, there's little motivation to keep up with the plot besides the decent visuals. It also doesn't help that spelling mistakes are not corrected upon each upload, and it really pulls it down in terms of plot quality.

I don't mean to be rude, but the whole Black Pharaoh antagonist feels like an excuse to self-insert yourself into the universe, and corrupt each and every heroine ever imagined at the expense of a more engaging story that matches the aesthetic quality. Instead of giving us a captivating story that respects the roots of the universe, we are watching on the sidelines as your personal avatar effortlessly takes down every hero and heroine without consequence; it's getting tedious, if not already for most readers here.

I understand it's all just fantasy and porn, but the outstanding corruption stories out there also focus on the struggle, the fight back. Without placing any emphasis on a meaningful resistance, without giving the audience the hint of a possible comeback, what is the point in engaging with the story? The whole fetish revolves around the fact that the protagonist(s) or characters involved are teetering on a fragile scale, on the verge of being transformed into something devious, something sexual or sinister, or perhaps being saved by a final act of desperation (which can even lead to a double-back into falling harder). If everything just falls at the slightest touch without providing the reader with a taste of anticipation or rising despair behind the act, you lose on a lot of buildup and tension in the plot.

We all want our heroes and heroines to fall into delicious darkness, but it is the buildup, the tease, the foreplay and the journey towards the inevitable end that gives us gratification and enjoyment out of this genre. Whether or not the characters are actually turned (but they usually are anyway), it is the process that intrigues us the most. You wouldn't skip a 3-course meal and jump straight for dessert; you want a balance of all the elements that combine into one delicious experience.

Sorry if this is long-winded or too harsh, but I really respect your artistic talent; just what story elements we've been given so far has been disappointing.
Posted on 31 December 2018, 23:08 UTC by:   hermit20   
Score +49
Ugly Bastard the Antagonist: "How do you even have the hopes of beating me when my power is infinity+1?"
Posted on 05 January 2019, 15:59 UTC by:   Neeckin   
Score +82
I don't want to drag on this comic again, but here we are with Ivy on the cusp of shaking things up, of adding something different. Only for that to get swept aside the page it was introduced and lead to the same transformation as always, with hyper oc gloating about how great he is.Im sorry, the art is great but after all this time the same 5 page sequence has gotten old.
Posted on 10 January 2019, 17:18 UTC by:   sionnix_   
Score +94
Made an account just for this.

1) Typos

There are errors every other page you upload. Here's a review of just the 5 most recent pages:

tunnel that *toke* us below the river (page 123)
the error of your *way* (page 122)
chemicals s (page 121)
what we didn't *knew* at the moment (page 120)

Considering you upload one page every 5 days, I don't think it's too much to ask that you conduct some basic proofreading to correct these glaring errors.

2) Boring plot

Every single subplot with a female character is literally the same thing over and over again, at this point I could probably recite your villain's generic dialogue myself.

Ivy fell far, far too easily. What is the point? Every female he acquires adds to his power level, you've literally written yourself into a corner where all your villain can do is curbstomp and gain exponential power increases with every succubus he adds to his stable.

This comic has great art but its overall quality is REALLY brought down by the writing.
Posted on 10 May 2019, 22:57 UTC by:   fightbos   
Score +54
How many more characters are we dragging into this lmao
Posted on 26 May 2019, 04:04 UTC by:   Acefighter159   
Score +51
Who's the greatest hero in the DCU? Superman? Batman? No, it's Deadshot, because he just saved us ten pages or so of D-list supervillains being raped into skeletons.
The worst hero, though, is Deathstroke, whose 90% of his brain he has control over apparently didn't include the ten percent that tells you shooting Supergirl might not be an effective strategy.
Posted on 15 June 2019, 08:37 UTC by:   PoorWhiteTrash   
Score +50
"all his glory."

I'll be honest. I expected more discarded fast food containers and mountain dew bottles.
Posted on 23 June 2019, 17:23 UTC by:   cozzy121   
Score +95
this lack of plot progress will probably last for a few more months before the artist will give up, blaming criticism of the lack of plot progress.
Last edited on 24 June 2019, 19:59 UTC.
Posted on 11 July 2019, 12:01 UTC by:   Matthew W.   
Score +94
You made sexy DC bitches boring. Congratulations.
Posted on 21 July 2019, 21:43 UTC by:   foobart   
Score +69
This stuff is my kink, it's drawn really well, and the author still managed to make me bored of it.
Posted on 31 July 2019, 10:11 UTC by:   holyteal   
Score +89
One of the laziest ass work ever done just to milk the patreons. I don't know how people can support that fraud.

Also, try to open page 4 and compare it to the latest page in term of quality, it's really night and day, he is probably drawing that comic while taking his morning dump nowadays.
Posted on 02 September 2019, 20:09 UTC by:   cozzy121   
Score +117
I can't even tell which corrupted female is which
Posted on 03 October 2019, 23:26 UTC by:   leddis4   
Score +140
This entire comic is let down by the fact that Bad Guy (I forget his name and I don't care enough to look it up again) is an insufferable villain sue.

Every single event in this story has been.

Superheroines: "Let's fight Bad Guy!"
Bad Guy: "HAHA NO I AM INVINCABLE."
Superheroines: "Oh no we've been raped and corrupted!"

Superheroes: "Let's fight Bad Guy!"
Bad Guy: "HAHA NO I AM GREETEST."
Superheroes: "On no we are ded."

Interestingly enough this isn't the first superhero porn story starring some idiotic and barely tolerable invincible unstoppable bad guy.
But it never ceases to be tiresome.
Posted on 04 January 2020, 04:40 UTC by:   DJjames   
Score +82
Let me save everyone some time. Read the first 30 pages and stop. Everything from there is just either bad fanfiction or repeats of what you already saw. Decent art, but awful writing.

Personally it's not my thing as it's so dark and depressing. I'd like to see the reverse, of like a hero fucking villains onto their side or something, that's just where i lean as I'm not into the "and the bad guy killed everyone and wins" type of stories as life sucks enough as it is that it's not my taste to get it in fiction too. Plus you don't see that too often. A hero reverse corrupting villains with a good fucking. It'd be something fresher, at the very least. , i can at least appreciate these types of stories if it's well written or has really high quality art, neither of which this really has in my opinion

The story is just one sided and dark. Every interaction starts with half the normally op characters in the DC universe just being brainwashed at it's mere presence and the rest driven insane or fucked/killed by the brainwashed ones. That's literally it. That's every interaction. Bad guy enters room, all the women become brainwashed dick holes, and kill everyone else. The end. Not my thing, and even if it was that kind of writing is boring as fuck.
Posted on 04 January 2020, 05:01 UTC by:   Neeckin   
Score +71
Oh wow a shield put in place by Trigon specifically to stop the big bad. Good thing that takes a whole panel to bypass and means nothing
Posted on 30 January 2020, 06:32 UTC by:   GaySwedes   
Score +54
Yes Megan do a battle of minds with the eldritch abomination who's obsessed with mind break
I'm sure it'll end well
Posted on 01 February 2020, 12:05 UTC by:   Acefighter159   
Score +128
Do you know that one scene in The Good Place where Ted Danson's AI helper girl is broken and he keeps asking her to give him a file, but because she's buggy, she gives him a cactus instead, and when this keeps happening he just asks her point-blank four times if the thing she's holding behind her back is the file or a cactus, she claims it's the file and definitely not a cactus, and then she hands it to him and it's a cactus?

That's the vibe I get with this comic. Every time it shows up, I check it to see if it might improve, and then it gives me a cactus.
Posted on 01 February 2020, 14:51 UTC by:   BrainPain   
Score +71
At this point even Darkseid would be pissed.
Posted on 13 February 2020, 00:14 UTC by:   Kurisu_Makise   
Score +93
I honestly thought this was a pretty good comic at first, but it's definitely gone downhill. There's literally no build up to anything any more, it's all "you'll never break me" then 2 pages later they're some mind broken slut, rinse and repeat for every conceivable character ever. This isn't corruption, this is bullshit.
Posted on 20 February 2020, 19:51 UTC by:   cozzy121   
Score +63
Any chance we can get the "ongoning" tag changed to "never-ending"?
Posted on 22 March 2020, 15:31 UTC by:   fightbos   
Score +78
Hey look, more characters! This story was surely lacking those!
Posted on 04 June 2020, 17:25 UTC by:   lag85086   
Score +8
Maybe he will die and batman will be a new boss
Posted on 04 June 2020, 18:53 UTC by:   apopp   
Score +17
I don't see a significant difference between how the MC and Constantine are portrayed. All Constantine has done is show up with overwhelming strength and attack the MC without difficulty or conflict, and if its like all the other diversions the story has taken its likely going to end immediately.
Posted on 05 June 2020, 01:26 UTC by:   fightbos   
Score +6
Breedinggod can you stop talking out of your arse ty, you don't like the comic then don't come here. Simple as that.
Posted on 05 June 2020, 02:58 UTC by:   BreedingGod   
Score +13
don't you dare judge me. And myself and others with sense are trying to give you the newsflash you need to quit supporting BlackPharaoh
Posted on 05 June 2020, 11:29 UTC by:   fightbos   
Score +6
Be gone troll. Noone asked you for a newsflash. If you don't like something why are you coming back so often. Are you a masochist?
Posted on 06 June 2020, 19:30 UTC by:   ThePokeManik   
Score +17
WOO fkin do it Constantine fk him up!

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